Balloon Launch for Sweet Elliott

Sunday, June 3rd was the 4th month anniversary for our sweet Elliott. I can't believe four months have passed already, and I'm pretty sure I will say that as each month comes along.

Friday, June 1st we received a phone call from Vermeulen Funeral home inviting us to a balloon launch for the following Sunday. We weren't given many details about the event, just to show up by 7pm. Joe and I said yes, we'd love to come but we weren't really sure what to expect. I made sure to put this on our calendar so we wouldn't forget and that was when I noticed Sunday was the 3rd. Trust me, I'd been thinking about the 3rd for quite some time now as I seem to do each month, but as it registered that we'd be doing the balloon launch on the anniversary date I was flooded with emotions.

Saturday morning I received a text message from my sister Abbie, her almost daily check in to see how we're doing and what we're up to. I briefly mentioned the balloon launch and told her about our day. It was a quick conversation but like every day so good to hear from her. Little did I know what my sister was up to....

Sunday, June 3rd brought a quiet yet emotional day for Joe and I. We did a few things throughout the day to keep ourselves busy and before we knew it it was time to drive to the funeral home. We hadn't been back since our initial meeting with their staff, before Elliott was born. God was certainly with us during that meeting, giving us the strength to get through that conversation and to plan our unborn daughter's funeral. The memory of that day is one I try not to be haunted with but I will never forget feeling her little kicks in my belly as we discussed the arrangements.

I was nervous as we approached the building, sad very very sad yet calm. And once I saw the parking lot full of cars I felt a sense of security, less alone and safe almost. Tonight we'd be surrounded by people, by families that have experienced loss too. Maybe not the same loss as ours but loss of a loved one or of a friend. The evening began with all families sitting in one room together and the grief director giving a short presentation. As hard as I tried to hold back the tears, they came. I needed to hear what he had to say, and I'm sure Joe did as well as the rest of the people in that room. I had originally resisted going to any group grief sessions but in that room I felt so less alone....I don't know what other word to use but safe to describe how I felt. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself to "act" normal around everyone and keep it all together when on the inside I'm still an emotional wreck. But Sunday night I could just let myself be.

After the presentation, we were all given note cards to write a message to our loved on and attach it to the balloon. Joe and I choose to attach both of our messages to just one balloon for Elliott and send it off together.

Sunday was a pretty windy day here so the balloons took off pretty quickly but Joe was able to get a few good pictures.

The balloon launch was very nice and incredibly sentimental for us. Shortly after we left the funeral home we received several messages from our family. My sister Abbie had asked everyone that could do it to release a balloon for Elliott. Talk about overwhelming, in the best way possible, I cried so hard as each new text message came through. I know our family will never forget Elliott, but this act of love reinforced how much they love her and us.

From Abbie, Jordan and Luke in Missouri

From Papa Tim & Nana Kathy in Illinois

From Chris, Molly & Ireland in Texas

From Kris, Jerry, Kaitlyn & Justin in Illinois