Today's been a rough one... journaling to Elliott my mind couldn't stop thinking of all of the things we'll miss out on and for that my heart continues to break. Some days it just doesn't seem fair so I'm going to pray even harder today for strength and peace.
Praying with you.
ReplyDeleteDear Elliot's Mom,
ReplyDeleteMy mother passed away three weeks ago from cancer and I am having a very hard time getting through the day today, like any other Friday since then. Wanting to put it in writing somewhere, I wrote on my google search bar "fridays are so hard" and hit search. It brought me to your blog. I read many posts and I wanted to wish you loving energy. I feel a lot of things that you feel... I never want to think about my mom in past tense. She may never get to see the day I graduate from college, the day I get married and the day I have my own child but I will always be her little girl. I HAVE a mom, just like you ARE a mother... I admire that you wrote your story. Please do not let anyone tell you that your emotions are irrelevant or unreal. Be patient with yourself and with your grief. We will come out of this as stronger and better women.
With loving kindness,
Achini
Let the emotions out. Let them flow and heal the edges of your heart. God gave you these feelings for a reason, and though they may feel overwhelming, just know that they matter, and will help you to cope. My mom lost three tiny babies while they were still in her womb between my older sister and I. She tells me that she never stops thinking about them, wondering if they were boys or girls, what would they look like, what would they be doing today. After six years of trying for a child and losing those precious infants, my mom was able to leave the hospital with a baby, me. I know I can't take the place of my lost older siblings, and I know any future babies will not take Elliot's place, but someday your pain will be turned to joy. I hope I made sense, I'm afraid my train of thought broke in to many different places. Never forget that you are a wonderful mommy!
ReplyDelete